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She also says the conversation, like the primping, should happen at the same time -- before that big date.
"Think about your sexual boundaries before you've had that first drink," Mc Clary advises.
But overall, I have found that very often they want the same thing," Allen says.
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If both people are playing by the same dating rules, sex can serve as the gateway to a consensual, committed relationship.
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Once you've decided what you want out of a date, say experts, you should make it part of your regular dating rules to tell your partner.
"If you just want a one-night stand, you owe it to your partner to tell them 'it's just sex I'm after,'" Mc Clary tells Web MD.
"Every woman and man should know their boundaries before they start dating, and most of us don't," says Cheryl Mc Clary, Ph D, JD, professor of women's health at University of North Carolina-Asheville.
When Mc Clary refers to boundaries, she's not talking just about the physical boundaries that come with sexual territory. "Emotional wholeness is crucial to the decision process of whether or not to have sex," Mc Clary tells Web MD.
"Make sure your brain, heart, and penis are in conjunction -- they should all be in a straight line before you have sex," she says.